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The Olympic Winter Games are in full swing featuring a platoon of ferociously determined skaters, the excruciatingly rugged cross country skiers and a sport which I can only describe as� adorable: Curling. Yes, curling dates back to medieval Scotland, and yes, it probably involves more strategy and savvy than any other sport, hence its nickname as �chess on ice� but I cannot help but be completely enchanted by the charming qualities of a sport that utilizes brooms and something called hog lines.
The Point of the Game: After arduous research, I conclude that the goal of the game is to finesse ones sixteen stones closer to the center of the house than the other teams. How hard could it be? Plenty hard. First you�ve got to spray down that lovely smooth ice surface with water droplets to �pebble the ice.� A zambonie driver�s worst nightmare, but necessary to make the hurled stones �curl� in one direction or another. Then you�ve got your centre line (fancy spelling intentional) and two other lines charmingly entitled the �hog lines.� Not to be forgotten are the �hacks� which are important rubbery spots used by the curlers for traction, otherwise you�ve got some poor hapless curler trying to find a toe hold on an iceberg. Players throw a stone in a graceful sliding movement. Right handers start with the right foot in the left hack and lefties go for the left foot in the right hack. They do the hacky sacky and they turn themselves around. That�s what it�s all about.
What follows the throw is my favorite part; the sweeping. This involves two players who trot along in front of the stone, sweeping their little brooms vigorously to make the stone travel farther and to change the amount of curl. Knowing when to sweep is important, and no doubt makes curling players a hit with the women in their lives who encourage practicing on the kitchen linoleum. At this point, my research goes fuzzy. Circumstances such as �burning a stone,� can arise and teeth clenching moments may result in a �draw to the button� contest. We won�t even go into the �hog line violations� and the serendipity of �swingy� ice.
The Equipment : Curlers are as serious about their equipment as the most dedicated Nordic skier, but the curling tools have the benefit of being downright cute. You�ve got the stone itself, all 38-44 pounds of it, fitted with a handle and can be thrown with either an in-turn or out-turn, similar to an inny belly button or an outie, as I understand it. If your curlers are well funded, they might sport a special handle called the �Eye on the Hog� which has fancy electronics to pimp up the stone. And there are the brooms which look suspiciously like Swiffers nowadays, having replaced the traditional corn brooms of years past. These brooms are fancy, made out of carbon fibre or horsehair heads. Harry Potter eat your heart out.
The Curling Spirit: And finally, any discussion of curling cannot be complete without the mention of the throwing in the broomstick clause. In this sport, when the chips are down, it�s perfectly okay to chuck the whole match if the losing team has no earthly chance of winning, or if they�ve �run out of rocks� and no bystanders have had the good sense to pack along spares. Good sportsmanship is an integral part of curling, with displays of arrogance frowned upon and players expected to call their own fouls. The game finishes with a rousing chorus of �Good curling!� and perhaps most fantastically, the WINNING team buys the losing curlers a drink.
Now if that isn�t just the most adorable Olympic sport ever, just hog tie me and call me swingy.
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